Elizabeth Wurtzel on depression

When i was a child; just into my teens, I discovered the book Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel. I related to her even back then and that was in my innocence, however disordered I was. I felt a sense of relief in her sufference, because my life, as a child, wasn't so complicated. But now i get that is childhood, and that is innocence. As an adult I am going to re read the book. On reading quotes from the book I feel that she can put into words what disables me.

"If only my life could be more like the movies. I want an angel to swoop down to me like he does to Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life" and talk me out of suicide. I've always waited for that one moment of truth to set me free and change my life forever. but he won't come. it doesn't happen that way. "

"Hemingway has his classic moment in "The Sun Also Rises" when someone asks Mike Campbell how he went bankrupt. All he can say is, "Gradually, then suddenly." That's how depression hits. You wake up one morning, afraid that you're gonna live. "

“I start to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?... I don’t know the answer, I know only that I can’t. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.”

“That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.”

"Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it."

“I feel like a defective model, like I came off the assembly line flat-out fucked and my parents should have taken me back for repairs before the warranty ran out.”

“it's the people you are close to, the ones who love you, the ones who have seen your heart, who have touched your soul- to them, it is obvious that something is wrong or missing. your heart and soul are missing. they feel it. it hurts them. it kills them.”

“I start to think there really is no cure for depression, that happiness is an ongoing battle, and I wonder if it isn't one I'll have to fight for as long as I live. I wonder if it's worth it.”

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Prozac-Nation-Depressed-America-Memoir/dp/0704380080/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1271700194&sr=8-1

www.veggiestuff.com

Being a vegetarian for over 15 years i have embraced Linda McCartney, Quorn and many other meat free food products that i find on offer to me in most good big chain supermarkets. Being a fussy vegetarian i have still found myself somewhat limited with the range. I will not drink milk, and Soya or Rice milk have been easy to find, no problems there. But if your branching into veganism, these shops offer very little. In most a block of Tofu would be all there is. I don't claim to be a strict vegan but i eat very little dairy. I am on a mission to find substitutes for every product i love to see if i can make the transition easier.

I have always found it a strange fact that human beings are the only animals which consume milk after infancy; and the milk of another species at that. I can't see how this can be neither natural nor healthy. It isn't natural in it's content and this is not what is sold to the consumer. Cow’s milk is loaded with 35 different hormones and 11 growth factors and there is considerable concern about its oestrogen and IGF1 (insulin-like growth factor) content. Cows are now milked seven months into their nine month pregnancy, which means that hormone levels are markedly high. Early evidence suggests that increased exposure to cow’s oestrogen and IGF1 raises the risk of certain cancers (particularly breast and prostate).

Cow’s milk is largely made up of animal fats, animal protein and lactose. None of these components are required by the human body. Difficulty in digesting lactose is extremely common right across the world. A staggering 75 per cent of the population worldwide is thought to be lactose intolerant. Most people can tolerate small quantities but research has been undertaken regarding its possible connection with ovarian problems and cataracts. Often the inability to digest cow’s milk goes unnoticed, particularly in children, and can lead to iron deficiency because of the intestinal bleeding it can cause. A fact that has always stuck with me, probably down to the fact of the degree it disturbed me is that The EU allows up to 400 million pus cells in each litre of milk sold in the UK.

The American Dietetic Association has declared that a vegan diet can provide all the nutrition that human beings need from cradle to grave. Veganism is infinitely closer to the diet human beings evolved to thrive on than a normal, animal fat-soaked western diet and the health benefits of a well-balanced vegan diet reflect that. The vegan diet though, isn't automatically a healthy one and i won't sell that here. A vegan could consume fried chips alone, be overweight and lacking nutrients. The diet like any requires common sense and some health awareness.

I have always been envious on trips across the pond, that the Americans, at least in the states i have visited; LA, NY, and Boston particularly cater much better for vegans and vegetarians alike. Many specific dietary requirements seem to be covered and catered for. I don't know if this is because i live in a small city in the North East of England rather than London which may in fact offer me everything the same or better than the States but i feel that a vegetarian option of lasagna or veggie burger isn't really good enough and by no means strikingly healthy. Many menu's over there offer calorie content and breakdowns of meal options. To me, a person who tracks her food intake, and needs to, that is a necessity and to have it there to aid making a food choice is just brilliant. I miss the breakfasts in LA where more would be on offer than a full English fried breakfast or toast and preserves. I want choice. I know that if i moved to LA, which is my life's dream, i would adopt a vegan diet, because the want of doing has always been in the forefront of my mind and there it would be much easier. I would just live at California Vegan and similar restaurants.

I have come across a website, based in the UK but also selling products from overseas that offers a choice. And a wide range. So at least this can be achieved within the home. I got so excited at the choice and the options and possibilities this would bring to my diet i placed an order amounting to £60.

Now i was dubious about many of the products i ordered and i haven't tried yet everything. But i wanted to review some products i have tried for you and link you to the site.

I ordered a selection of dairy free cheese; hard and soft aswell as cheese sauce and multiple meats. The hard cheeses i ordered ready sliced because i don't know how well they would grate. These are only a small fraction of the products i purchased so expect more reviews to come
.

Tofutti Vegan 'Cheese Slices' - Cheddar Style. Tested this out the best way possible in my opinion. Cheese on toast. It melted as i would expect regular cheddar to melt however it didn't brown at all, it just continued to bubble away. The result was cheese on toast that tasted like the cheese on toast i was used to. Impressed with this it will be a food swap for me. You would think then that Tofutti Vegan 'Cheese Slices' - Mozzarella Style would be a safe bet. I put these in a cheese toastie with some other products and the result was almost disgusting. The cheese went the consistency of mashed potato and lacked pretty much any flavour.

Tofutti Creamy Smooth Vegan 'Cream Cheese' - French Onion Style. I have had this a couple of times now on Ryvita with cucumber, chillis, sunblushed tomatos and garlic sausage. It is a nice product. Cream cheese, like yoghurt, has always grossed me out so i can't really say how similar it is to the real thing. But the flavour was good and it did it's job. I'm going to have it for lunch today in a jacket potato.

Redwood Cheetin' Garlic Sausage Slices. It has been so long since i have ate meat i don't know what this is like compared to a meat product of the same kind. But the thing that is striking with this is the flavour, intense and yummy. I asked my father, who eats meat and garlic sausage to try it, he said the flavour was almost spot on, it just didn't have the 'right' consistancy. Tasted good to me.

Redwood Vegetarian and Vegan Bacon Style Rashers. I had this as a part of breakfast with mushrooms, beans and toast. Love the product. When i was cooking it i wasn't too sure how it would be. It didn't look 'perfect' but was pleased they missed out the stupid 'fat' rim that other companies seem to have to put on there. It tasted nice. And it was chewy. Now i liked this. Other vegetarian bacon i had tried wasn't chewy. I don't know if it makes it more 'realistic' or what. But it has won me over.

Redwood Organic Vegan Merguez Sausages. I have never particularly been a fan of vegetarian sausages. Never really fussed on the texture and the flavour, (other than hot dog sausages) bland. But these were beautiful. I had them in fajitas and also in a toasted sandwich. Good flavour. Good texture. Nom Nom.

Zest Vegan Pesto Sauce. This product was okay, it was by no means great. Not like real pesto. The flavour was very subtle in comparison and the texture slightly different. This product is a compromise rather than a replacer.

Free & Easy Dairy Free Cheese Sauce. I used this when cooking a trio of vegetables, cauliflower, leek and white cabbage. It looked like wall paper paste but tasted fine. My mum cooked the same but with a classic none vegan cheese sauce and hers looked much better. I made it up with water though and 3 spoons not 4, and aparently if made with soy milk it makes it creamer. I’m yet to use this in a lasagne and I intend to so I will update you once I have tried that.

FTC Disclaimer: I purchased everything with my own money and am not affiliated with any of the companies; all opinions are my own.

www.veggiestuff.com
www.milkmyths.org.uk

... (more info)

Food For Thought

Human - sympathetic; humane: a warmly human understanding.

Humane - marked or motivated by concern with the alleviation of suffering; showing evidence of moral and intellectual advancement.

In the UK alone, 850 million animals and hundreds of millions of fish are killed every year to put meat on tables. That works out to be more than three million animals a day. It is though, not as simple as life and death. Before they are slaughtered, hundreds of millions lead desolate, disease-ridden lives on factory farms and suffer miserably.

In the animal kingdom pigs are rated 4th in overall intelligence, behind chimps, dolphins and elephants. Pigs are mucg cleaner and even smarter than dogs. 75 per cent of all piglets have their teeth crushed and tails cut off without anaesthetics. Many millions are conscious when their throats are cut. Same goes for calves and lambs.There is evidence to suggest that they understand before slaughter what is going to happen to them as they show visable distress on hearing their fellow species cries of pain. 20 per cent of lambs however don't actually make it to slaughter and die from cold, disease and starvation.

Not forgetting our feathered friends; four-fifths of broiler chickens (killed for meat) have broken bones and deformed feet, legs and other bone deformities. Up to one fifth of chickens may be fully conscious when they enter the scalding tank to loosen their feathers. Most ducks are gactory farmed in crowded sheds. They never see daylight. They never get the chance to swim in water.

Turning vegetarian means you’re no longer a part of that cycle of death or the intollerable cruelty associated. The dairy industry too however is unforgivable in the suffering caused.

Cattle reared for milk production are exploited and made to suffer, just like animals reared for meat. They suffer from lameness, mastitis (inflammation of the udders) and other illnesses. They are forcibly separated from their calves just days after they are born so that humans can drink their milk. Cows are not some kind of special animal that produces milk automatically: just like every other animal, including us, they only produce milk to nurse their young. Male dairy calves, meanwhile, are useless to the dairy industry and are usually shot at birth. 24 percent of dairy cows are prenant when slaughtered; many nearing full term.

Egg-laying hens may be crammed into battery cages; five to a cage in a space no bigger than a microwave oven. 80 per cent of all eggs come from battery hens. The alternative being disgusting, disease ridden percheries. They are forced to produce twenty times the number of eggs as are natural to them. Even free range and organic layers, although improved in a way, face disease and parasites and are slaughtered for cheap meat as soon as their productivity falls below the level that the egg business will accept. Male chicks are as useless to the industry as male dairy calves and all are killed. This includes those on free-range and organic systems.

http://www.viva.org.uk/